Comments on Seduction Central: Astrology is not enough to facilitate change

RE:When are you ready to change?From the point of ...

2008-07-03T21:53:00.000-04:00

RE:When are you ready to change?
From the point of view of karma, for those of us who believe in such a thing, I firmly believe that you change or at least make an effort to change, when the soul is ready for it. The trigger may outwardly manifest as a specific event, relationship, or any other life crisis, but on a much deeper level, you have to reach a certain predetermined, albeit unknown to our consciousness, stage or point in your journey, where you are ready for change. All the suffering & mistakes are nothing but preparation for a better, more enlightened self. For all the insanity in this world, there is a method to this madness. Good post Jeffrey.

Yes, the evil eye gave birth to the saying, "if lo...

2007-07-30T04:58:00.000-04:00

Yes, the evil eye gave birth to the saying, "if looks could kill".

Since most people would like to be successful, it just seems that being afraid of success is self-indulgent because it's complaining about something that others would kill to have. Like, "waahhh, my husband and children love me too much!" or "waahh, if I get one more promotion at work, I'm gonna kill myself!" or "waahhh, my diamond shoes are too tight!!" :)

"It just sounds so...self-indulgent. "I don't thin...

2007-07-27T10:59:00.000-04:00

"It just sounds so...self-indulgent. "

I don't think fear of success is self-indulgent at all although I know people often do think that way (and I'm curious to know why). After all, success makes you more noticeable and that makes it easier for people to feel envious of you and also puts you on the spot. People often feel justified in tearing successful people down and it's not just verbal. Remember the "evil eye"? Just about every culture has that idea and the evil eye is very much related to envy. Of course, the superstitious idea that people's ill thoughts can harm you is silly. But envious people don't always stick to thinking bad things. And, in some cultures, character assassination and gossip can literally ruin people's lives. So, no, I think that a fear of success makes a lot of sense, especially if you're a private person.

I keep thinking of better ways to illustrate my po...

2007-07-25T22:52:00.000-04:00

I keep thinking of better ways to illustrate my point.

Ok, so in my last example, this manager HIRED ME FOR THE PURPOSE OF HELPING HER ORGANIZE EVENTS, but ended up acting as if the person she hired (WHO OBVIOUSLY HAS EXPERIENCE ORGANIZING STUFF) is the one with the problem.

So we can recognize our problem, seek out other people to help us, but may end up projecting our own issue onto them as if they are the cause of our problem when they're not.

What I mean by the last paragraph is that sometime...

2007-07-25T22:46:00.000-04:00

What I mean by the last paragraph is that sometimes we look to other people (esp. in romantic relationships)to help "cure" us of our problems, but end up blaming them even though we KNOW on some level they are our problems.

For example, I once had a manager tell me on the interview that she was scattered, all over the place mentally, a tyrant, etc. (I know, why did I take this job? Yet another case of me trying stuff even though I know it's a bad idea.) Well, when things didn't go smoothly because she constantly gave me contradictory instructions (yes, she's a Gemini), guess who got blamed? Not her! Even though she knows her faults, she still blamed me for things not going right because I was there and it's better than blaming herself.

I could use my personal relationships as examples, too, but won't go there. We would all be here all day...

Eme Kah, yeah it might be wishful thinking that TH...

2007-07-25T22:35:00.000-04:00

Eme Kah, yeah it might be wishful thinking that THIS ONE TIME, could I be wrong please? It reminds me of that quote (by Benjamin Franklin or Albert Einstein): "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." So I'm just now figuring out why I drive myself crazy with these decisions I keep making despite "knowing" better.

Fabienne, I agree that a fear of success is somewhat socially unacceptable. It just sounds so...self-indulgent. It was even hard to write...I love what you said about when you are ready the teacher appears. So true! Or maybe the teacher has been there before, but just wasn't recognized or appreciated.

Of course, we have to do the work of soul-digging ourselves, but I'm wondering at what point do we stop blaming our issues on other people? Just recognizing our issue is not enough. I've noticed that even though people know they have a problem, they still find a way to blame others for it instead of transforming. It's so easy to do.

@exclusion blue: as m boyfriend reminded me, it’s ...

2007-07-25T01:40:00.000-04:00

@exclusion blue: as m boyfriend reminded me, it’s not about change, but about transformation. Change is more of the same only different. Winter is change, different from summer, but still a season.
@Jeff. My path of transformation had led from astrology to Buddhism and meditation. Started a few months ago. Mindfulness has helped get more detached and observe my thoughts. I discovered patterns, recurrences, old reruns and imagination of a reality that does not exist and how much I do fall into this practice in a minute to minute basis. Sometimes, I can make a game of it and count the number of times in a day that I fall into this trap. Other times it just frustrates me to no end, like a hamster in wheel. Overall, throughout the six months I have been meditating, I have been introduced to my self-defeating behaviors(passive-aggressive, failing for spite, etc..). But the resistance is still present as I cannot acknowledge the reasons my self-defeating patterns serve me.
@blahblahblah: I learned a long time that the biggest fear is fear of being successful. Somehow acknowledging this type of fear is not cool. Fear of failure is much more socially acceptable. It does not matter if your soul-digging is done alone or with somebody, you still have to do the work yourself. In my case, my boyfriend has been my mentor but I had to embrace the change and choose to do the work. As they say when you are ready the teacher appears.

'Sometimes a man imagines that he will lose himsel...

2007-07-25T00:40:00.000-04:00

'Sometimes a man imagines that he will lose himself if he gives himself, and keep himself if he hides himself. But the contrary takes place with terrible exactitude.'

This sums up my change =)

ex.blue, you've already come up with some good hom...

2007-07-24T23:15:00.000-04:00

ex.blue, you've already come up with some good homework assignments. 5-page paper due Monday!

So the whole point of your taking on impossible pr...

2007-07-24T14:26:00.000-04:00

So the whole point of your taking on impossible projects is so that you don't actually risk success or failure by putting your energies into something that's actually worthwhile.

I do the whole "I think I'm right about this but let me see if I'm actually wrong" before embarking on a doomed project. It's bizarre. I wonder why I do that. Wishful thinking that it may come out right after all? Bc it hardly ever does.

Oops, I hope the meaning came through regardless o...

2007-07-24T13:11:00.000-04:00

Oops, I hope the meaning came through regardless of the typos...

"How does my self-defeating pattern serve me?"What...

2007-07-24T13:06:00.000-04:00

"How does my self-defeating pattern serve me?"

What a great question that requires a long shovel and the willingness to go digging.

I remember asking my ex once why he didn't like being alone. His response was, "I'm sick of me. I've been alone with my thoughts every second of every day of every year of my life." After I asked him what's wrong with that? He said, "One of these days, I might discover something I don't wanna know." Such a self-aware answer, which suggests that he's CONSCIOUSLY practicing denial. Of course, my mystery-loving self found that intriguing about him.

Which brings me to MY self-defeating pattern - choosing the path of most resistance just for the experiment of it. I don't do this all the time, but I'm starting to realize that I've been doing it a lot lately, especially in relationships. I like having something (someone?) to fix. Do I go out of my way to cause problems? No. But if I see a problem heading my way, I don't always sidestep it. No, instead I open my arms and say "welcome, have a seat." I tend to go against my better judgment when choosing who to enter a relationship with because a part of me likes a challenge. My last 3 relationships began despite my thoughts at the time running along the lines of, "I can already see why we're going to break up. Let me see if I can prove myself wrong here."

Meanwhile, in other areas of my life, I don't accept the challenge at all. I take the path of least resistance when it comes to achieving my REAL goals. Sometimes I don't want to try at something because I'm afraid I'll actually succeed. Then what? Where's my next challenge gonna come from? So I end up exerting a lot of energy on hopeless cases, ones that I know on some conscious level have no chance in hell of working out.

Try something I actually have a chance at accomplishing? asks my self-defeating twin. "No! What happens if we give this all we have and it doesn't work out for us? How devastating would THAT be? Nah, let's just keep putting a lot of hard work into dead-end projects. That way, if we succeed, it'll be a miracle and count as a HUGE success. And if we don't, no harm, no foul...cuz we didn't really care about succeeding at this anyway." S the flip side of being afraid of success is also being afraid of failure. Such a catch 22.

*signs and slowly putting shovel down*

It's not always pretty to uncover all of the ego-protecting self-defense mechanisms that we've built up, only to discover that we're our worst enemy. It's so much easier to point the finger at an external source. I'm learning that if the problem has followed me from situation to situation, the problem is probably me (and my shadow). I've also realized that the traits we dislike the most in others are really parts of ourselves that we aren't claiming. How potentially mentally distressing is THAT thought? :)

Is it easier to go soul-digging alone or with someone else by one's side?

"It is common to feel that you are going to die if...

2007-07-23T20:49:00.000-04:00

"It is common to feel that you are going to die if you do things differently."

You got me there. Right in the center of my whole being, or at the center of my subjective feeling of decoying.

But you forgot this time to give assignment for the comments section :o)

How do we step into changes?
How do we achieve the 'Aquarian distance' and therefore objectivity necessary for choosing the right way?
Do we practice compassion and mindfulness? In which way? Results?

There's lot more...

What do you want to know? :o)