Comments on Becky's T-Blog: 2007++

This is exactly how I feel.I gave up Connie as she...

2008-01-06T16:50:00.000Z

This is exactly how I feel.
I gave up Connie as she was taking over my life.
Now I feel like I want to dip my toe back into the Tranny water as it were but am unsure what to do.
A night at TX is a no no so there goes that comfort zone.
I would need to go somewhere new and would feel like I was starting again.
Plus I am scared I can't do it anymore.
The scene has moved on whereas I havent. Friends have gone from the scene (a lot of transitioned) and I feel...well...lost.
I just have no idea what to do.

a place for the trendy, young and young-thinking ...

2007-12-28T21:01:00.000Z

a place for the trendy, young and young-thinking trannies to meet and build a scene

Welcome to the technology curve. :)

Flippancy aside, most of us - people that is, not just trannys - do progress and I think that's a good thing. It's funny but at certain times in my life I've thought I'm happy right now. I don't want this to change but new things come around the corner and your own internal drives shift with time. Would I want to go back? Not now.... but then again, ask me when I'm 70 ;-)

So - and seriously - good luck for the future.

Well, that was long and deep (not just your post, ...

2007-12-25T15:28:00.000Z

Well, that was long and deep (not just your post, Becky, but some of the comments as well); I’m afraid it’s going to warrant a long and deep response from me in turn! First up, I have to admit I’m a pretty atypical cross-dresser myself. Although I’ve been indulging in the activity since 1990, I’ve never really gotten into any of its attendant “trappings” – I’ve never been part of a “scene” (I wouldn’t even know if there’s one where I live), nor have I ever felt the need to adopt a female name or “pass”. (About the only times I’ve attempted to do the last thing have been when I’ve dressed as a woman for fancy dress parties; thankfully, the general consensus of others on each of those occasions was that I did a pretty good job (hey, I’ve always been a perfectionist).) Thankfully, I’ve also never felt the need for the services of a support group, nor have I experienced much of the “guilt” and “shame” that a lamentably large number of other cross-dressers appear to be tormented by; in all my time cross-dressing, I’ve also only ever purged once (and my reasons for doing that really had nothing to do with self-loathing*). Um, where am I going with all of this?

I suppose the first thing I have to say which actually relates to the various topics under discussion is that I think there’s a lot in what “anonymous” and Penny M have to say. From the outset my own cross-dressing was motivated by simple annoyance at the fact girls got so many cooler things to wear than boys (AND got to pinch our stuff as well!), and a consequent desire to assert my “total clothing rights” (to use that wonderful phrase coined (I believe) by Mr Eddie Izzard); as far as I was concerned, all this stuff about adopting a female persona while dressed made cross-dressing far more complicated than I felt it needed to be. Also (and I’m only speaking about my own situation here), I don’t like the idea that I have to create this dual personality in which I’m dull and ugly as a guy (and conforming to a depressing stereotype in the bargain), and only interesting and beautiful once I’ve “transformed”. I strive always to be interesting (I just hope this somewhat rambling comment doesn’t negate my efforts there), and beautiful too. I suppose I’ve a bit of an unfair advantage in the latter regard, having been blessed with a baby face that’s often been considered comely, and which makes me look good dressed in women’s clothing, as a boy**.

Much as I agree with the general thrust of “anonymous’s” arguments, however, I, unlike him, can’t ever see myself giving up cross-dressing. While I have no intention of going to the extreme of changing my sex, neither do I have any desire to go to the opposite extreme of expressing my softer side in nice, safe, bland, socially acceptable (ie boring as batshit) ways. (“Anonymous” mentions “the pull of nice, normal, conventional life”, but I have to admit that’s never held any attraction for me.) There’s simply too much about cross-dressing that I love: being able to wear clothes that express my personality and bring out my pretty looks far better than most conventional male attire ever could; being able to wear clothing that turns heads (and even has the occasional onlooker taking a picture of me); enjoying the freedom of being able to wear whatever I damn well like; and, perhaps most satisfying of all, being able to give a big middle finger salute to society and its stupid double standards (for the last reason, even if, by some bizarre twist of fate, I lost all interest in women’s clothing, I’d probably keep wearing it just on principle).

As for your (that is Becky’s) rather melancholic reflections on changes in the “scene”, well I can relate to that sort of thing myself. The scene I’m really a part of where I live is the local metal scene of all things (and for anyone who thinks cross-dressing and metal music can’t go together, I’ve got two words for you: Dee Snider), and in the twelve-odd years I’ve been involved with that, I’ve seen a lot of changes that have made me feel a bit sombre – bands come and go (though, thankfully, a lot of the musos around here seem to keep rocking well into their forties and even fifties), as do venues. Indeed, a bunch of venues I used to frequent are now no more – one burnt down under suspicious circumstances nearly a decade ago and was never rebuilt; one’s now become one of those wanky nightclubs where the bouncers force people to queue outside for hours; one now appears to be getting sodomized by some ghastly housing development that’s being built right behind it (and which has pretty much killed off any chance of live music ever returning there); and the last has simply shut down – I don’t know what goes on there, if anything, any more.

Anyway, that’s my two dollars’ worth. Do forgive me, all, for waffling on.

Look, it’s some footnotes! What sort of pretentious twat puts those in a comment?!

*To make a long story a little less so, my single instance of purging (conducted way back in 1992) was one of the results of a (then probably inevitable) collision between my penchant for cross-dressing (and a whole heap of other offbeat activities) and an unfortunate propensity for feelings of scrupulosity (something I’ve since learnt to keep on a very short, very tight leash). The Bible said cross-dressing was a sin; therefore I should stop doing it if I didn’t want to risk facing some highly unpleasant consequences (is it any wonder I’ve become a heathen now?). The crazy thing was that even at the time I purged, I realized how stupid I was being; deep down I felt there was nothing wrong with being a transvestite, and hated myself for cravenly surrendering to feelings of guilt that felt very much externally-imposed. (It wasn’t just my female clothing I got rid of then either; I also chucked out a bunch of heavy metal albums, and took out a pair of nipple piercings – other things I quickly regretted disposing of, and replaced soon after.) One small consolation was that I gave my women’s clothes to my mum, so at least they didn’t go to waste. :)

**That said, I still get a bit of a buzz from having people mistake me for a girl, which happens occasionally. Curiously enough, the thing that most often gets me confused for a member of the opposite sex is the shower cap I’m always wearing, as a hygiene measure, in my job as a nursing home kitchen hand!

It is odd, isn't it, that we tend to measure ourse...

2007-12-24T19:55:00.000Z

It is odd, isn't it, that we tend to measure ourselves against a 'scene'? I think it is a problem when you don't feel part of 'the scene' anymore, when you have done all the hard stuff and found out its mostly not very hard at all. You start to wonder what its all for, and its easy to end up on the Road to Perdition, sorry, Transition. I agree about the girly-side comments above, I think we are much more complicated than the tranny 'standard model' would have us believe, but going FT etc. gives you an easy answer.

Dunno what the answer is for the rest of us.

Trannies don't always come back, you know. In many...

2007-12-24T16:53:00.000Z

Trannies don't always come back, you know.

In many ways, I can relate to the feelings you so eloquently describe. For a couple of years, I trannied with the best of them. TX, Wayout, Angelic, BNO, Canal St, Angelflickr, Repartee, TVChix. Met some lovely people, had a laugh and personally developed in some unexpected ways. Then I got a bit bored.

Never say never and all that. In the distant future, I may once again find myself rummaging through Miss Selfridge's sale rack. Deep down, though, I can't see it. I enjoy different places and pleasures now.

The thing is this... when you overcome the social stigma and self-consciousness of cross-dressing, yeah it feels like you've discovered a 'girl side'. Usually, several years of treating and indulging your new found 'girl side' ensue. Then you feel the pull of nice, normal, conventional life and start dithering about your 'boy side' and your 'girl side'. Such a strange conflict of interests.

It dawned on me that there never was a 'girl side'; it was all me. Some parts of my nature just took longer to emerge than others. This realisation helped me to stop fretting and feeling like I ought to do things or was neglecting a side of me.

I could go on about the 'girl side' myth; the TS casualties, the reverse stigma. Suffice to say that in my experience, there's no girl/boy side to pay respects to. Just relish being the complete package that you are :)

So am I a new, young tranny? I mean it's only a fe...

2007-12-24T16:43:00.000Z

So am I a new, young tranny? I mean it's only a few months ago that I first stepped outside the Dressing Service closet into something resembling the real world, and 'came out' to my family. And I did it through TVChix as well.

I like the idea of being a new, young tranny. 43 is the new Young :-)

In many ways I feel the same. There's a "new wave"...

2007-12-24T08:30:00.000Z

In many ways I feel the same. There's a "new wave" of British trannying. Stormes created the scene, Transmission took that and ran with it and now Big Night Out has taken on that mantle for a whole new generation of Young trannies.

I've let things slide too on the tranny front. If you fancy dragging Becky out the house in 2008 give me a shout!

Oddly, I have been looking at C++ for most of oday...

2007-12-24T05:54:00.000Z

Oddly, I have been looking at C++ for most of oday (that's not the odd bit, really) and the title didn't bug me at all. That's odd because I'm more pedantic than most compilers.

Seriously, though, I wish the Envérités the very happiest of Christmases together. May (not the month) 2008 be the best year of your lives (so far, not ever).

So noted, but any suggestions were in jest anyway....

2007-12-24T03:55:00.000Z

So noted, but any suggestions were in jest anyway. I so often can form no comment on the actual subject discussed; the title just gave me an opening to make my own skewed form of a joke.

"Most modern languages..."What, like French? :-SSu...

2007-12-23T23:53:00.000Z

"Most modern languages..."

What, like French? :-S

Suggest away, I'm not changing it. It was meant to suggest things beyond 2007, not be in any way accurate to a programming language. In fact, the day I do start code-checking my titles before I blog them, you have permission to shoot me. ;)

Its a natural cycle. The tree has to "die" in autu...

2007-12-23T23:38:00.000Z

Its a natural cycle. The tree has to "die" in autumn/winter to be reborn in spring. At least you're not purging.

I don't like it when you get all deep. It makes me evaluate my own place in the Trannisphere.

And careful with that "trannying in a tie" you'll have Curran claiming Intellectual Property rights!

Regardless, a very Merry Christmas to you, Jane and Si.

The title bugs me, as far as I know most modern la...

2007-12-23T23:30:00.000Z

The title bugs me, as far as I know most modern languages forbid the use of a digit as the first character, and you're using the post-increment operator so the value is returned and then incremented.

The return value is 2007, and assuming the compiler/interpreter doesn't throw an error the result of incrementing 2007 gets lost.

May I suggest ++2007, or year++.

Now I just need to save this reply from total sadness with a humorous conclusion; maybe a smiley. :P

I was a little worried that you were going to say ...

2007-12-23T22:46:00.000Z

I was a little worried that you were going to say you were giving up blogging there.