Comments on Becky's T-Blog: Vaportrannies II

Loads of great points here from Becky and everyone...

2007-06-14T08:10:00.000+01:00

Loads of great points here from Becky and everyone else too. I think the first post could be taken the wrong way (not the way Becky actually meant it) particularly if you are a bit paranoid/ guilt-prone / defensive which of course most of us are (it comes with the territory and heels) - but it was all cleared up with the second post. Just to make sure I got it straight (correct me if I'm wrong) what you object to Becky is those people who are moaning about their environment dice, when their tg dice means they are actually content with their status quo. And what some of the others are complaining about is those with a high tg dice who exert peer pressure on the first group by inferring they are 'lesser' tgs because they don't 'walk the walk'.
I reckon my environment dice is a 1 for most of the time, which is why I tend to dissappear for huge swathes of time. I'm not sure what my red dice is but I seem to be able to cope.

Mmm. Yes. I see what you mean. In fact, now you sa...

2007-06-09T19:53:00.000+01:00

Mmm. Yes. I see what you mean. In fact, now you say it, I can't help thinking I shoulda seen that for myself; I just saw the line in Becky's post, remembered your "Life Is Not a Game Of Cards" article, and wondered if there might be some sort of connection. At the time, though, my brain was too tired for me to try and work out whether there was a connection; so I decided to just ask straight out!

"Making the best of the cards we were dealt" - I w...

2007-06-07T12:06:00.000+01:00

"Making the best of the cards we were dealt" - I wonder what Stephanie Delacey would have to say about that!

Erm, I would say that Becky and I were using the same metaphor to different ends. I was referring to the conservative belief in biological/social determinism which holds that "the cards we are dealt with" are dealt just once (at the beginning of our lives). Becky, on the other hand, was comparing, it seems to me, one's current situation to a hand of cards - a hand which one is in the process of playing and which once played will lead to a new hand being dealt. One way of using the metaphor is static, the other is dynamic :-p

I had a thought at 5am, as you do.In the dictionar...

2007-06-07T08:05:00.000+01:00

I had a thought at 5am, as you do.

In the dictionary meaning I am a TV (I wear skirts etc) and yet I wouldn't consider myself a trannie because I don't associate it with "dressing as a woman" just with not seeing why clothing has to have two categories.

I didn't always have this clarity in my mind though: a ex-girlfriend was convinced that I would want to more than just wear skirts at home, that I would want to go outside, that I'd want to pass, that I'd want to be a woman. I tried to explain that she was wrong, that that wasn't the reason I liked skirts. Yet she was sure she was right and that left doubt in my own mind: maybe I was deluding myself, maybe there was an "Emily" I was surpressing. Since it was about that time I first wore a skirt outside I began to think that maybe this was the first step on a long road.

Therefore I read blogs (thought didn't post) and thought about things and I even went to that shop near Euston station, London. That, however, was a turning point as I then realised that this wasn't me, the ex-girlfriend was definitely wrong, I wear skirts not because I "want to be a woman" but because I have a wider than usual taste in clothes - though knee-length skirts and knee-high boots seem to feature rather a lot ;-)

I therefore wonder if this might explain some of the vapour-trannies; perhaps they think or are told their desires must mean more than they admit, so they go on-line, join communities, post a lot, push the envelope, before finally finding their level and disappearing from the "scene" (I use quotes because I not sure I like that word).

Like I said this was a thought at 5am so appologies if it is just waffle.

I'm sorry, I missed the bit where I was supposed t...

2007-06-07T07:17:00.000+01:00

I'm sorry, I missed the bit where I was supposed to figure out my trannyness-score.

I was curious how Becky's point would be taken; for one thing, I think she has a point: there are some for whom being a crossdresser is something that they aren't serious about. It's not "wrong", it's just yet another facet of being. (For them, I hasten to add!)

There are those who won't meet anyone, dressed or not. Sometimes it's because they're not ready, other times it's simply because they're not "serious" about "it" (whatever "it" is). I can't point to any one individual and say "they're not serious about being a crossdresser!"; likewise, no transsexual is ever going to tell me that I'm not serious about crossdressing because I won't acknowledge "what I really want", or some other such nonsense.

It's sort of like the guy who hangs around gay bars, but steadfastly maintains he's not gay. Why's he hanging about the gay bar, then?

Personally, and I know this is not going to be taken well, I thought the responses to Becky's initial post were less than understanding. Becky had a point, and to be shouted down simply because "you" didn't agree? I'm not convinced anyone really took the time to understand Becky's point. (Hang on a minute: I've got some bric-a-brac to avoid...)

Why do I think that? Because I didn't read anything but outrage against Becky. An automatic defense of the self, not a consideration of the motives of others. Becky does have a point about this.

And I thought the clarification and retreat from the original point not necessary in the slightest.

Carolyn Ann

I would ask, is then a 1-2, better or worse than a...

2007-06-07T00:16:00.000+01:00

I would ask, is then a 1-2, better or worse than a 6-5.

In another line of thought
you say

Because I worry that "new" trannies come online and find forums full of trannies bemoaning the fact that they're "trapped" in situations beyond their control, and they think that moaning is what trannies do.

but new trannies sometimes are in that situation.

Plus, I find more scaring the forums that are all everything is perfect when going out, be open, and as one of the previous commenters said, one mentallity fits all.

> I've only ever used the HPW tag> to describe the...

2007-06-06T23:41:00.000+01:00

> I've only ever used the HPW tag
> to describe the people who ...
That'll be me not being up to speed on every term. I had inferred the meaning when I had read it and as such thought it applied more widely (e.g. to wearing skirts without shaving ones legs - because one doesn't have the need to pass but still sees a skirt in a shop window and instinctively thinks "That's gorgeous, I've got to by that").
My misunderstanding there.

> And I apologise if the opinion I
> appeared to give in the previous
> ...
No apology necessary as I read both today's and yesterday's posts together and the dice analogy is a good one.

Ok, fair do's, I'll let you off :-)

2007-06-06T23:06:00.000+01:00

Ok, fair do's, I'll let you off :-)

Oh by the way, just in case any one wondered, Yes ...

2007-06-06T22:27:00.000+01:00

Oh by the way, just in case any one wondered, Yes it did and lots.

In fact seven months later it still really hurts.

Quick tip, really don't get them cut off unless you really need it! Eek...

How you view your own sense of tranniness (if that...

2007-06-06T22:17:00.000+01:00

How you view your own sense of tranniness (if that's a word) is, I think, very much a "glass is half full" kinda thing. When you're frustrated because you can't go as far as you like, it can be easy to fall in to the negativity trap.

Incidently there was an article on happiness in Psychologies magazine... the quote "it's what you don't have, yet yearn for, is what makes you unhappy" lept out at me. If I take a step back and think what my life (and trans-life if you will) is, I'm actually very lucky.

The dice thing is a good analogy. A case of supply vs demand perhaps? I'm trying to think what gaming system had two dice like that... damn these closet role-player urges. :)

As to the 'HPW' tag or semi-dressing even, I think it's rude to look down on folk who want to express or explore things that way. I don't think any of us dressed up one day and got 'the look' down pat. It takes time and practice.

Gush, Becky Quoted me! When I rolled them dice I k...

2007-06-06T22:12:00.000+01:00

Gush, Becky Quoted me!

When I rolled them dice I kind of hit it hard. It really hurt me to see that I hurt my family so much, but as my therapist pointed out, sometimes you have to be selfish to survive.

The best bit of it though is not the who did what better, it is the sense of community I have got from places like this.

Becky, I wish I had half of your beauty and I bet many other girls here feel some of that too, but in a funny way, you helped me make my transition. I don't really mind if you are a sit at home "net" tranny or a full on Trans rights activist, you still inspired me to be myself with your gentle humour and quirky outlook. Thank you.

Damn, this not supposed to be a soppy post, I wanted a rant about freedom of personal expression... ;-)

I've only ever used the HPW tag to describe the pe...

2007-06-06T21:22:00.000+01:00

I've only ever used the HPW tag to describe the people who post pics of their midriff in panties on the net, which I do find distasteful. I'd never describe a trannies who are "part time" in the way you describe using that term.

There's nothing wrong with being "mildly" transgendered and acting accordingly, maybe just wearing the underwear or an item or two of clothing.

That's what I used to back in the day, and I apologise if the opinion I appeared to give in the previous was that there was something wrong with it. :-)

Reading yesterday's post I couldn't help but wonde...

2007-06-06T21:12:00.000+01:00

Reading yesterday's post I couldn't help but wonder what your views are on those who wear skirts / dresses occasionally, sometimes at home somtimes not, but who don't feel they have an alternative identity so don't try to pass. Eddie Izzard for want of a better description, though I fear the derogatory description is HPW.

Reading today's post I guess you'd consider that to be just two low rolls of the dice?

Some great points made there. I guess I rolled a ...

2007-06-06T15:03:00.000+01:00

Some great points made there. I guess I rolled a 1 and a 2 (goodness, that sounds like a Risk move that I've logged in a book) on my Tranny scores. I have a low desire (2 if I'm being generous) and a 1 for environment (maybe a 2 if I really pushed things but I don't particularly want to).

Like a school playground, there is some peer pressure in the online tranny community, and perhaps some of the Vapourtrannies feel that peer pressure to say the "right" things in front of the group in order to fit in better.

Just before I retired as Natalie, I remember too many times in the Angels chat room where I felt under seige by a core group of trannies...see if any of these statements ring a bell:

"I used to think like you, that I'll never transition, but you don't know what's going to happen down the line and what Portia, Denise, Davina, VickiMichelleDanni and SexySuz said to me was true...release the inner woman and now my breasts are coming along fine"

"Not been to Transmission? You NEED to go. I mean, you're not really doing it right if you don't have the desire to go out..."

"No such thing as a straight tranny, you're deluding yourself hon"

"Went shopping today for new shoes and some dresses...went to Dotty P's en femme and although there were a few glances, it was important for me to do."

These things are often said in a tone that could be interpreted as a "dare". Someone's upped the ante and they often forget that others can't or don't want to follow in their steps. I got fed up with 90% of the online tranny scene because a) I fell out of love with trannying and b) the "one size fits all" mentality of the loudest trannies.

The fact I still visit here says a lot about how much I respect and like the boss around here.

"Making the best of the cards we werre dealt" - I ...

2007-06-06T14:32:00.000+01:00

"Making the best of the cards we werre dealt" - I wonder what Stephanie Delacey would have to say about that! (No, I really do wonder - I'm not trying to make a point!) As for myself, the reason I haven't dressed in over three years now is 'cause I basically never feel well enough to make the effort - to dress, or do anything other than spend 16 hours of every day lying in bed (sweating) and the other 8 sitting in front of a PC screen (sweating)! Yet though I now find myself dreaming about make-up, heels and nice hairdos more than at any previous point in my life, I can't work out whether, given the opportunity, I'd ever actually WANT to dress for real! Whatever my decision, though, to what extent would it (not to mention my constant daydreamin') be the result of my not dressing all these years? Hmmm...I think I feel a blog coming on...(then again, maybe not - these sort of questions never have any answers...:p )